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I've been trying to find answers

I've been trying to find answers about this for a while but I've found nothing, so I guess I'm asking. I am a teen girl. In the past, I went through a two-year tomboy phase, but I'm over it completely. I have had a couple dreams about my girl best friend, and they we very sexual. I don't want to think of my friend like that, and I want to like guys. Truth is, I've never really been attracted to anyone- guys, girls, nobody. Nothing "turns me on" and when I see a guy I mostly think, "I guess he's cute," when I don't really know. He just fits the image everyone would label as attractive. I haven't experienced any sexual or many romantic advances, but I plan to. I guess "liked" my dreams, but I don't know if I want it to be a guy, or if I want it to be my girl bestfriend. I just think that I'm involuntarily developing unwanted feelings towards my friend. I was freaking out that I might be a lesbian or bisexual (Its okay for others to be one, I just dont want to be) so I vented to my friend who has gay parents because I thought maybe she could help me. It got a lot of weight off my chest, but it didn't help much with me understanding my feelings. If there are any questions about this, I'll add something, but that's all I can really think to write. Thanks in advance!
Me and my bestfriend have sleepovers often, like every weekend (Wow, right?) But when I sleep over, sometimes we'll just pass out on her sofa watching movies and stuff, but I get... "urges' to do things that I don't want to do. I can't talk to guys without looking stupid, and I don't really know what love is supposed to be, feels, looks, ect., like. I don't care about what society thinks, but Its what I think. I try to steer away from thoughts like that, and most of the time I do it successfully, but is it right to? I just want to be me, but straight... It's all jumbled and confusing, I know.

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Ditulis oleh: nissa sekar - Saturday, October 12, 2013

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